An In-Depth Analysis of the First Mix CD I ever Created

That’s right, folks. I’m about to give you an inside look at the musical mind of…you guessed it: me, circa 2004. Having recently re-acquired possession of my entire CD collection from my friend Anson (no, not this Anson), I have come across some incredible gems that for some reason or another did not make the cut onto my personal iTunes account.

If you have ever had the off-chance of speaking with me about my taste in music, you already know that it’s kind of all over the place. For example, two of my favorite artists are Josh Groban and Linkin Park.  If you are ever lucky enough to take a spin in the PDJeep (bring a gas-mask), you are sure to experience some Irish jig music followed by S Club-7 and Lupe Fiasco. To put it simply, you never know what you’re gonna get.

Inspiration for today's blog post. I've come a long way from this bad boy.

A post shared by paige dolton (@paigemarjorie) on

middle school

Unlike all of the rest of my burned CDs, in this amateur disc-making time of my life, I decided to forego labeling this one with the date of creation. I had to put on my research cap and deduce that I created this wonderful mix in the spring of 2004. There are two songs from the ‘Princess Diaries 2′ soundtrack, so my research was actually, in fact, not that difficult. So, let it be known that when I was in 7th grade at Holy Child, an all-girls Catholic school, I valued these 12 songs so much so that they could have the honor of being called “Paige’s Faves.” 7th grade was a very interesting year for me. It was during this time that I became what I feel should be called “emo” and left all signs of preppiness behind. I had fallen victim to the petty drama and bullies that are ever-present not only in middle school, but especially at an all-girls middle school. My personal favorite anecdote from this year was when one of my teachers’ asked us which song we would use to describe our grade. Having been at the peak of my emo, hating-the-world phase, I chose Linkin Park’s ‘Nobody’s Listening.’ If you’ve heard this song, you know that this was basically my way of saying a big “F*CK YOU” to my classmates. If you haven’t had the pleasure of hearing this masterpiece (which I still know every word to and belt at the top of my lungs at any opportunity I get), then please enjoy. Now that you know where I was during this phase of my life, let’s get down to the real analysis, shall we?

1. 1985- Bowling For Soup

Making it to #1 on ‘Paige’s Faves,’ this gem is a song that I am proud to admit I had completely forgotten even existed. Why did we all love this song? I was not a child of the eighties; how dare I pretend to associate with this demographic? Where did this band even come from and why did we just accept that their name was ‘Bowling For Soup?’ WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! Clearly, I was a bandwagon fan with this one. I must have had some real insecurity issues if this made it onto the prestigious favorites list. Maybe I played this for my friends so that I would look cool and they would think “Oh, Paige loves a band called Bowling For Soup; she must be so rad!” Yeah, let’s just go with that.

2. The Sign- Ace of Base

To this day, if anyone speaks foul about Ace of Base, they are not prepared for the wrath that will follow. Ace of Base is the base thing to come out of the nineties, besides me, of course, and this is one of the few songs that will never, EVER, get old for me. Of course I had their first international release, ‘Happy Nation,’ on cassette and of course I listened to it nonstop. ‘All That She Wants?’- A CLASSIC. Ace of Base was absolute perfection until they screwed up and went and made another album. But let it be known, this song is most deserving of a spot on ‘Paige’s Favorites.’

3. Breakaway- Kelly Clarkson

Ahh here we have our first song from the Princess Diaries 2 soundtrack! A classic K.Clarkson track, this song was every middle school girl’s anthem. “Trying to belong here but something felt so wrong here;” obviously these lyrics applied to me in my time of middle school angst. 7th grade was that special time when you realized that someday, you would eventually leave home and have to fend for yourself. So, naturally, everyone wanted to do it immediately. Rock on with your bad self, Kelly.

4. Somebody Told Me- The Killers

Don’t even try to lie, you know every single word to this song. Boy or girl, this was one of those songs we didn’t quite understand, but would nod our heads along with it and think we were the absolute coolest. I’ll just leave this here: “Somebody told me that you had a boyfriend that looked like a girlfriend that I had in February of last year.” Is he trying to flirt with this woman he is talking to? Regardless, this song was an instant classic solely due to the weirdness that it is.

5. I Decide- Lindsay Lohan

Guys, I wish I was kidding. But, here we have the second song from the Princess Diaries 2 soundtrack. And, yes, it is by Lindsay Lohan. Do I still know every word to this gem of a song? Absolutely. I will say, though, that this song ignited my love for Lindsay’s music. #TeamNoShame. Do I own both of her albums? Of course. This song could have been every mid-high school girl’s anthem, but, apparently, it was only mine. I decide who I love, MOM!

6. Headsprung- LL Cool J

Seriously, I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. I am legitimately giggling to myself as I write this because WHO DID I THINK I WAS?! I am not an LL fan, I literally don’t know if he has any other songs, but for some reason, I straight JAMMED to this song back in the day. Apparently, this was before LL stuck to wearing golf caps at awards shows, I don’t know? Also, if you were wondering, yes- I can rap this entire song.

7. Baby It’s You- JoJo

I’m really not even sure I need an explanation for this. This song is EVERYTHING. My previous roommate, Lauren, and I would frequently dance like freaks to this in public at any given opportunity up until three months ago. JoJo was the cool girl that we all wished we could be. She had the style and the attitude of a street thug, and it was so admirable. Girl could strut, and listening to this song made you think that you could, too. Not included: the Bow Wow version. It’s equally as good.

8. Fly- Hilary Duff

As a huge HilDuff fan growing up, this song is so deserving of being on the list of ‘Paige’s Faves’ that it is not even funny. In addition to being on her self-titled album, this song was featured on the soundtrack for one of her more phenomenal roles, ‘Raise Your Voice’- you know, that movie where she was a lost girl trying to find her voice in a music academy? Again, don’t try to pretend that you didn’t love this movie. Similarly to my situation with Lindsay Lohan, this song was pretty much the fuel to my fire that was a long relationship with HilDuff music. I owned all of her albums, including the greatest hits, and, again, I have no shame. ‘Dignity’ was and still is an incredible piece of work. There, I said it. #TeamNoShame.

9. Cameltoe- Fannypack

I’m just going to leave this here. I have no words that would justify this.

10. Accidentally in Love- Counting Crows

Besides the weirdness that is this music video, this song was a great one. Still played on radio stations to this day, you can’t help but sing along to this classic. Personally, I am going to have to disagree with 2004 Paige and say that this did not deserve to be on this CD. Great song- nothing special.

11. Basketcase- Green Day

I’m going to be honest- I wish I was cool enough to say that this was one of my favorite songs. Nope- this is all my brother, Peter. I have him to thank for getting me into Green Day, Hoobastank (of course), and some other great old school teen angst bands. Not Linkin Park- I did that all on my own, thank you very much. Still, though, I can say that I know all the words to this song and I probably wouldn’t change to the next station if this came on the radio today. Solid choice, Paige  Peter.

12. On the Way Down- Ryan Cabrera

This song is still amazing. I still remember bonding over this song with one of my best friends in middle school. We became friends because we had both been ‘victimized’ by middle school mean girls, and this song spoke volumes to us. “LOL, get it, on the way down, we both save each other! OMG it’s our song!” No, but actually. Every time I hear this song, I immediately go back to the basement of my middle school, sitting next to the lockers, and listening to this with one earbud and her listening with the other. #Memories. And don’t lie- you had a huge crush on Ryan Cabrera in middle school. This is what he looks like now. Sorry :/

Well, that’s a wrap folks. I hope you’ve enjoyed reminiscing on 2004 through my incredibly eye-opening musical tastes. Hopefully this brought some of you back to your time in middle school, full of regret and really, really weird choices. What embarrassing music did you listen to in middle school? Anything that beats mine? Holla atcha gurl.

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Game of Thrones: My Internal Dialogue to S1E1

As I am coming to the unfortunate end of Arrested Development on Netflix, I figured it was due time that I start another series. I had a lot of choices, but knowing how much I love science-y and fantasy shows [read: LOST, Once Upon A Time, Fringe, The Walking Dead, etc.] there was only one obvious standout: Game of Thrones. It had been a long time coming for me to start GoT; many friends are obsessed and being an avid user of the internet, GoT references seem to follow me wherever I go [read: WINTER IS COMING]. If you have ever watched a television show with me, I truly apologize and commend you because I tend to have something to say about almost every scene and I rarely hold back. In fact, I often live-tweet shows that I am watching, but, as of late, I’ve kept it to only live-tweeting The Bachelorette (ugh, Des). All this being said, I figured I would simply write down my dialogue as I watched the pilot episode of Game of Thrones and publish it here instead of cluttering everyone’s twitter timelines (you’re welcome). If you’ve watched the show before, hopefully you will be able to follow along with my ramblings. If not, welcome to my psychotic mind. I’ve also tried to provide some complimentary GIFs to the scenes in which I am talking about so my ramblings don’t seem so random (credit goes these guys). Enjoy.

  • Who is this man that looks oddly like Matt Damon?
  • WAIT, there’s a Michael Cera lookalike, too?!
  • Wait, it is actually the dead of winter; how are those horses not freezing?
  • What’s with the two bars of music and then dead silence? I’m sorry, that is extremely creepy.
  • Okay, sir, you see the smoke coming from under a log. WHY ARE YOU WALKING TOWARDS IT. IT WILL PROBABLY KILL YOU.
  • Oh, my bad, crawling in the snow towards it. You, sir, will get frostbite.
  • PSYCH. THERE ARE MUTILATED BODIES ON STICKS EVERYWHERE.
  • OH SH*T HE JUST RAN INTO ONE POSTED UP ON A TREE.
  • Seeya BYE.
  • Oh? These men have intriguing accents. Weasley-esque, if I may.
  • Matt Damon looks very suspiciously like Matt Damon.
  • These guys secretly hate each other but they know that they’re the only people in the woods so they have to pretend to be friends.
  • LOL YOU GON DIE IF YOU LEAVE EACH OTHER.
  • Matt Damon is kind of a bully, guys.
  • Okay, Michael Cera must be delusional because all those dead bodies have PEACED OUT OF THERE.
  • Yo, I would get on my horse into the sunshine if I were these guys. Count me out of this mess.
  • OH SH*T THAT SH*T JUST KILLED MATT DAMON.
  • I’m sorry, ICE BLUE EYES?! Matt Demon just killed Matt Damon, AMIRITE?!
  • This chick just came back from the dead, like, I’m sorry, count me out.
  • She has really pretty eyes though.
  • HOOOOOOLY IT’S JUST MICHAEL CERA LEFT.
  • Oh, so the rando guys’ head was a peace offering? Yeah, not gonna cut it.
  • Thank G they cut to the theme song and opening credits, that was getting too out of control for me.
  • Okay, but these opening credits are actually kind of cool. Is this song on Spotify?
  • Grass, how nice of you to join us. I guess we have changed seasons in 2 minutes?
  • Michael Cera ramblin’ around like a crazy homeless man.
  • WINTERFELL?!?! I need some explanation, people, HELLOOOO.
  • Ah, a small child, hmmm. I don’t think this show is suitable for him but okay.
  • Whoever this man is that is pressuring him into archery is extremely good-looking.
  • This betch is giving SHADE to the redhead stitching with the old woman.
  • Little kid just missed the arrow and everyone laughed; I’m sorry, he probably just killed someone.
  • Related: is his name Bra?
  • Who is this fat man with a braided beard? Is this another trend I missed?
  • Oh, I’ve seen this other man! He’s a meme! YAY REFERENCES!
  • WINTER IS COMING! I’VE SEEN THAT! YAY INTERNETZ!
  • Ah, back to homeless Michael Cera.
  • Actually, he looks nothing like Michael Cera. I take it ALL back.
  • White walkers?! I CANONT HANDLE A CROSSOVER LIKE THIS.
  • What, was it ‘kill your animal and wear it to work’ day?
  • Oh, tell the child to not look away while they kill Michael Cera? CHILD SERVICES.
  • Wait, I love the little boy’s voice.
  • YO DAT MAN WAS TELLIN DA TROOF. DEM WHITE WALKAS IS OUT DER. (sorry)
  • Oh, this poor moose. Blessings on his family.
  • I cannot get on board with these outfits. Like, do you think you look that cool?
  • PUPPY WOLF CAN I KEEP IT?!
  • THEY CANNOT KILL THE DOG STOP IT
  • Alright, I like that guy. Thank you for saving him. You, I like you.
  • ALL THE PUPPIES.
  • Wait, this man’s name is Snow? COME ON.
  • KING’S LANDING- CAPITAL OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS lol okay
  • Is this man getting a massage? I need one.
  • These people with the square canvases? wat.
  • VIGGO MORTENSEN IN THE BUILDING
  • Who is dis blonde lady?
  • Hunting whores? That’s all I got out of that.
  • WAT we are back in the village, I  CAN’T KEEP UP WITH THIS.
  • OoOoOoO purdy tree
  • Ah, marital bliss under the tree.
  • I GET IT. THEY’RE CONNECTED. THE MASSAGE GUY AND THE WINTER IS COMING GUY.
  • lol his name is Ned.
  • All dis woman cares about are her candles.
  • OH HELLO ABS.
  • This child has never been happier running along the roof of this castle.
  • Moms in olden times are the same as they are now.
  • The kid just likes to climb, woman, GEEZ LOUISE.
  • WHAT IS WITH ALL THE CLOAKS, PEOPLE?!
  • HUNTER HAYES WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON A HORSE
  • THERE ARE SO MANY REDHEADS.
  • BABY HUNTER HAYES I CANNOT HANDLE IT.
  • Oh okay, I guess this is the king? Should I kneel down? Is this awkward?
  • TOO MANY CLOAKS.
  • “You got fat”- classic opening line to an old comrade.
  • 9 years?! Hate to break it to you buddy, he’s not a good friend.
  • So they’re like besties with the royal family? Word.
  • They’ve been traveling for a month? Shoulda checked Expedia; I’m SURE they had something available.
  • This guys’ priorities: “crack skulls and f*ck girls.” #playa
  • Joining houses? Is it really that easy?
  • VIGGO MORTENSEN IS BACK.
  • PETER DINKLAGE IS GETTIN IT. 
  • NUDITY
  • What is that? Her tool belt?
  • A LOT OF NUDITY.
  • These two families have a lot of issues to sort out, like dead sisters, and prostitutes, and beards.
  • PENTOS- ACROSS THE NARROW SEA 
  • yo, dis gurl’s hair is not natural in the slightest.
  • NEITHER IS HER BROTHER’S.
  • Allyria? The only thing I can think of
  • So, is this her brother just stripping her right here? Like, is this happening?
  • TITS OUT FOR THA BOYZ.
  • So, she’s burning herself? Numbing the pain of the fact that her brother just touched her boobs, I presume.
  • We go from men in 65 cloaks to naked men riding horses. WHAT IS THE WEATHER IN THIS WORLD.
  • This blonde betch needs to put a bra on. Ain’t they got Victoria’s Secret in their kingdom?
  • This man also has more makeup on than she does.
  • The ceremony was to just look at her and they are to be wed? Oh yeah, same here. Every weekend.
  • LOLZ BETCH YOU GOT NO CHOICE BUT TO BE HIS QUEEN SORRY CHICA.
  • This guy is maybe the worst brother in the world- “I would let his whole tribue f*ck you- all 40,000 men.” SEEYA BYE I WANT OUT OF THIS FAMILY.
  • Oh, back to the redheads.
  • What is it with all of these bitties getting married? Don’t they want to have fun in their twenties?
  • Like seriously, she’s begging to get married.
  • If this feast was at a bar, I would go there for every happy hour.
  • Ah, let me just beat this sack of hay with a sword. I’M SO MANLY.
  • Your half-back hairdo is so cute, sir!
  • This man looks like Orlanda Bloom.
  • So much family dramz. Also, Orlando has a name, and it is not bastard.
  • BACK TO STABBING THE SACK OF HAY.
  • Oh, so now he feels bad for cutting off Michael Cera’s head? TOO LATE BRO.
  • WINTER IS COMING. THERE IT IS AGAIN.
  • The queen’s hair: #stopthat
  • Seriously, this feast looks like a great time.
  • You can’t just ask a young girl if she’s “bled yet;” that’s just like, the rules of feminism!
  • HUNTER HAYES SEXUAL TENSION.
  • “Listen, fat man.” #romance
  • Does no one have privacy any more? Sure, old man, just come on in while we’re cuddling.
  • Oh, sorry, can’t read the letter, I’m just gonna throw it in the fire before I EVEN FINISH READING IT.
  • This bro’s got a lot of scars, how Wolverine of him
  • THIS BEACH LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE THE BEACH IN MARIO KART SERIOUSLY I THINK THEY ARE THE SAME THING.
  • Also, these dancers- teach me your moves.
  • I just threw up at all these flies on the meat.
  • Okay, so I quickly learned that they are not dancers, but, rather, porn stars. Honest mistake.
  • BRICK JUST KILLED A GUY.
  • Yo, I think this guy has some phlegm in his throat. He is NOT speaking english.
  • I bet you there is something besides books in that pile of books. THERE’S ALWAYS SOMETHING.
  • I think her husband has the same bra size as me, so that’s fun.
  • IS THAT DANCER/PORN STAR WEARING A DENIM SKIRT?!
  • Oh, so are they going to ride off romantically into the sunset? Yeah, I don’t think so.
  • This sh*t is about to get REAL weird. I am uncomfortable already.
  • SHE DOESN’T WANT YOU TO TOUCH HER BOOBS, DON’T YOU GET IT.
  • This guy must have gone to the Hair Cuttery; his hair looks HORRIBLE.
  • The king is seriously guilting this guy into doing his dirty work, like, YOU ARE THE WORST FRIEND.
  • Yesssssssss the wolf puppy is back.
  • There he goes, climbin’ castles and sh*t again.
  • His combat boots are nice, where do you think he got them?
  • Does he not hear the two people totally doing it? LOOK AWAY CHILD!
  • BROTHER AND SISTER UHHHHHHH WAT
  • Did he seriously just kill the child, THIS SHOW IS TOO MUCH WHY DID I START WATCHING IT.
  • But on a serious note, I would like the theme song on my iPod. Pretty inspirational stuff.

Well, that was fun. As you can see, I tend to curse a lot in my head. Whoops. The verdict is still out as to whether I am going to continue with the series. There was a little more nudity and blood than I was anticipating. For now, I’ll get back to watching Gossip Girl with Laura and anticipating our start of LOST (I’ve persuaded another one!). Do you watch Game of Thrones? Have any suggestions for me in terms of what shows to start? HOLLA AT ME!

Top 5 Celebrities I Wish Were My BFFs

If you know me even remotely at all, you know one thing: I am obsessed with Chipotle and Pop Culture. In fact, oftentimes I can be found discussing celebrity fandom over a burrito bowl. Thus, I figured it was due time for me to discuss my reasoning for being head-over-heels with the celebrities that I often obsess about, retweet, and just generally wish I could kick back a few cold ones with. So without further ado, here is my list of the top 5 celebrities who I wish were my best friends.

5. Justin Bieber 

Before you stop reading, hear me out. Homeboy’s got a lot going for him. A hot as hell girlfriend (you know it’s true), an insanely good sophomore album (if you don’t believe me, listen to this), and yacht-fulls of cash. How could he not be a good friend to have? The best way for me to describe the young Biebs is just a little nugget of #swag. On top of all of that, homeboy [this is my new BFF name for Justin, if you couldn’t tell] was recently golfing at a country club when, upon spotting paparazzi up ahead of him on the green, aimed his next shot right for their heads. His words to the club employee upon leaving: “we’ll probably never play here again.” OH- and he’s one of the few celebrities who actually has the balls to be frank with his fans. Case and point: when he was waiting for his girlfriend, Ms. Gomez, at the airport, he straight-up told his swarm of fans that they were completely disrespecting his privacy and weren’t true fans. Homeboy’s got some serious nugget #swag.

4. Zooey Deschanel

If you’ve never seen ‘New Girl,’ please go reevaluate your life. While I have been obsessed with Zooey since her ‘Elf‘ days, ‘New Girl’ sent her soaring to my BFF list almost immediately. Yes, I love her for her famously “adorkable” personality, but I just feel like there is so much more to her. And, well, I’m correct. She co-founded Hello Giggles, the “ultimate entertainment destination for smart, independent and creative females” with two of her friends (one of which I am also incredibly obsessed with- if you don’t follow Sophia Rossi on twitter now, please act accordingly). If you still aren’t just as convinced as I am that Zooey would be a fantastic BFF, I highly suggest listening to her out-of-this-world voice, via her musical duo “She & Him.” And last, but most certainly not least, would be Zooey’s iPhone commercial promoting Siri. From the perspective of someone obsessed with advertising, it is perfect. From the perspective of any human being ever, it is perfect. Rock on, Zooey. Rock on. 

3. Chris Colfer

If you’ve never met me before, I guess you’re about to find out a little about my political/personal views. I love gay people. And I love people who love gay people. Chris Colfer, my friends, is a flaming homosexual. And I love it. Similar to #4, if you have never seen ‘GLEE,’ please go reevaluate your life immediately. Mr. Colfer plays Kurt Hummel, a gay student at McKinley High School who had some trouble fitting in at first, but is now absolutely fabulous and is 1/2 of the best gay couple since Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka. Chris Colfer is not only the best part of GLEE, but he won a Golden Globe for his exceptional role on the show (it was king of a big moment).-the very role that didn’t even exist before Chris auditioned. Yes, he was that phenomenal that the creators of the show just had to add a new character. Talk about an influential person. Chris, be my BFF if not only for the sake of us drinking martinis together at a bar and being fabulous.

2. Ke$ha

My love and obsession for the creature that is Ke$ha is no secret. In fact, I’m actually quite public about my love affair with the hot mess of a rockstar. Not only was I Ke$ha for Halloween two years ago, but I have one of her quotes on a canvas in my room at school:

“Society has taught us to suppress certain things, but if I want to do something, I let the animal inside take over, no matter how uninhibited or irreverent it is. Who cares? Crazy people are what keep life interesting”

So, some people may think that she is just a drunk mess who doesn’t give a f*ck about anything? Well, that’s because she is. She literally doesn’t care about anything. And that is precisely why I love her so. Someone who doesn’t care whatsoever about what people think of them- now that would be a great BFF. Plus, she knows how to party. That never hurts.

1. Matthew Gray Gubler

Last, but most certainly not least, I think Matthew Gray Gubler would make the best friend ever. The weirdest, no doubt, but also the best. For those of you unfamiliar with this name, the Goobs (similar nickname to the Biebs) plays Dr. Spencer Reid on ‘Criminal Minds,’ one of the best shows created on the planet. While Reid is undoubtedly the best character on the show–he’s a certified genius–MGG is the best character in life. His website provides quite the insight into his fantastic and perplexing mind. Seriously, click the link, it is disturbing and perfect at the same time. He also models (OBVIOUSLY) for Aldo and is perfect. Seriously, I think I could just sit and watch him breathe and it would be entertaining. Disclaimer: I swear I’m not psychotic. He is awkward and incredible, adorable and frightening, and PERFECT AND PERFECT. MGG- please contact me so we can run off into the sunset together and never return.

Oh, and just to get everyone else obsessed with him, here’s his description of his perfect woman:

“Must love decorating for holidays, mischief, kissing in cars, and wind chimes. No specific height, weight, hair color, or political affiliation required, but would prefer a warm spirited, non-racist. Cynics, critics, pessimists, and ‘stick in the muds’ need not apply. Voluptuous figures a plus. Any similarity in look, mind set, or fashion sense to Mary Poppins, Claire Huxtable, Snow White, or Elvira wholeheartedly welcomed. I am dubious of actresses, felons, and lesbians, but don’t want to rule them out entirely. Must be tolerant of whistling, tickle torture, James Taylor, and sleeping late. I have a slight limp, eerily soft hands, and a preternatural love of Autumn. I once misinterpreted being called a ‘coal-eyed dandy’ as a compliment when it was intended as an insult. I wiggle my feet in my sleep, am scared of the dark, and think the Muppets Christmas Carol is one of the greatest films of all time. All I want is butterfly kisses in the morning, peanut butter sandwiches shaped like a heart, and to make you smile until it hurts.”

You’re welcome, world. I hope you have now grown to love my celebrity BFFs just as creepily as I do.

As a bonus for making it through that entire post, and an homage to the Jonas’ who I unfortunately but truthfully did not include in this post, please enjoy my favorite picture of any celebrity ever: