My Top 5 Ways To Procrastinate

Congratulations, friend! You are already succeeding at procrastinating– you are reading this right now! Whatever it is that you are putting off, yes, you are right; it can definitely wait until later! Why do the things we don’t want to do when there are so many alternative ways to spend your time? As someone who excels in procrastinating, I know how perfectly enjoyable and miserable it is, so I empathize with you. I wouldn’t call myself a slacker, and I even wouldn’t say that I don’t have time management skills, I just choose to manage my time specifically so that I leave everything I need to do for the last minute. Hey, I’ve gotten this far, right? Well, if you find yourself reading this, then that probably means you are currently procrastinating so without further ado, here are the top five ways I put off doing things that I probably should be doing.

5. Writing Blog Posts Like This One
It’s been a while since I’ve blogged, but if you look at my track record, I either blog when I have either too much time on my hands or when I am utter and complete crunch-mode. In this instance, it’s most definitely the latter. If writing isn’t your thing, however, perusing through blogs is another great form of procrastination. If you’re female, then you probably already have at least two or three blogs that you tend to check out from time to time. If you’re male, then I sincerely hope the only time you look at blogs is to try and understand why your girlfriend is looking at blogs all the time. In fact, I should just say right now that all of my procrastination techniques are female-oriented. Men, by all means continue reading, but just know this.

4. Pinterest
One of the classic procrastination tools, Pinterest is where you should turn when you just can’t bear to look at your ten page essay any longer and need to be visually stimulated by something, ANYTHING. You can always do the classic Pinterest exploration and just scroll endlessly through recipes, DIYs and clothes that all of your friends have pinned throughout the day, or you can take my advice and click one of those category tabs at the top that you for some reason have never clicked. Trust me when I say that you will find some actually interesting pins that are more worth your time than that “Secret 5-Minute Flat Abs Exercise” all of your friends are re-pinning. When procrastinating, make sure to stay on Pinterest for a maximum amount of ten minutes at a time. Since it’s something that requires very little brain activity, ten minutes is the perfect amount of time for a study break, but if you are in the long haul of procrastination mode, it’s most definitely not embarassing to be caught on Pinterest for two+ hours…right?

3. Facebook
Think about it. There is actually very little to do on Facebook. Of course you check your Newsfeed and scroll until you physically cannot scroll anymore, and then you go through your tagged photos to make sure that you still look as good as you thought you did when you looked at them earlier, and then you go stalk your usual list of Facebook friends whose lives for some reason you are so entranced with, and then…well, that’s about it. That’s why this is the perfect procrastination tool. Similar to Pinterest, this requires very little brain activity, so Facebook breaks should last no more than ten minutes each, or else you know you’re getting a little too out of hand. Another way to use Facebook as a procrastination tool is when you find yourself just staring at your computer screen and not even thinking about what you are doing. Oh, you’re on photo #579 of your ex-boyfriend’s little brother’s best friend? Totally normal.

2. Call a Friend From High School
You heard me; STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER SCREEN. A much more productive way to procrastinate when you have many other things that need to get done is to pick up your phone and make a call. Since most of your friends at school probably have the same crazy workload that you’re putting off as you do, they will be less likely to want to chit-chat. How about one of your best friends you haven’t really talked to (texting doesn’t count) for about two months? Give her a ring and she’ll probably be so excited to see your name light up on her phone. In my experience, these procrastination/study break phone calls tend to last anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes in length, but they are the best for giving your head that clean slate you might need in order to get your work done. Chances are, she’ll be procrastinating, too, so you two can go on and on about all of the things you should be doing instead of talking to eachother.

1. BuzzFeed
And here we have it. My #1 source for procrastination. BuzzFeed is without a doubt the best site to go to when you don’t feel like doing anything productive whatsoever. With endless ‘articles’ filled with photos, videos and GIFS, you can find yourself entertained for days. BuzzFeed is the new StumbleUpon. As soon as you’re done looking at the 26 things you miss about 90’s television shows, five more suggested posts appear as if from out of thin air, and your noggin is once again entertained. WARNING: do not go to BuzzFeed unless you are serious about procrastinating, because you WILL be sucked in and, trust me, it is very hard to get yourself to click the X on the BuzzFeed tab at the top of your screen. Proceed to this website with caution, and good luck in all of your procrastination endeavors, my friends.

Top 5 Worst Things About Finals Week

As I sit here in the library attempting to write all the papers I’ve been putting off all semester long, I find myself continuing to procrastinate by writing this blog post. Finals Week absolutely sucks, there’s no denying it. It’s the time of the semester when the only thing you find yourself actually somewhat motivated to do is lay in bed and do nothing at all. All of this being said, now that I’m actually in the library, here are the Top 5 Worst Things about Final Week.

5. Lack of a Social Life. This one is pretty subjective, but for most people, interacting with friends is a dangerous thing to do during finals week.  Even if you choose to study in a group of your friends, it’s a proven fact that no good can come from even attempting to learn in a social environment. Familiar faces and exciting gossip are the #1 distraction during finals and will be the cause of all your problems. STAY AWAY FROM FRIENDS.

4. Inability to Look Like a Normal Human Being. You’re spending all of your time either eating, sleeping, or studying, so chances are, you have very little time to keep your physical appearance in tip-top condition. This is one of the only times that seeing someone on campus in sweatpants is the norm, and no make-up and wet hair become second nature. Bags under the eyes? It’s totally the hot new look. My only suggestion is to embrace your finals week beauty and just let it happen, my friends. Your life will go on if you don’t look perfect. I promise.

3. Lack of Seats with Plugs in the Library. If you’re anything like me, you know that the first hour of “studying” in the library is actually spent searching all 6 floors of the library for not only somewhere to sit, but somewhere to sit with an easily accessible electrical outlet. If you are somehow able to get a cubby with an outlet in it, you reign supreme during finals week. Otherwise, you have the choice of stalking out your prey until they decide to leave or planting your derriere on the ground and sucking it up.

2. Inability to Focus. I’m sitting here writing a blog when I have 3 finals to study for and 3 papers to write. Need I say more? If somehow all students were granted a prescription of Adderall, I think a majority of finals week problems would be solved. It’s the worst when you get to the point where you just stare at your open book for a ridiculous amount of time but just don’t have the mental capacity to even attempt to try and decipher it. After a certain period of time, the English language becomes hieroglyphics, and you have no option but to keep on truckin’.

1. Lack of Sleep. For me, at least, this is the #1 worst part of finals week. If you’re anything like me, you probably get an average of 4 hours of sleep a night during finals. This, my friends, is just a fact of life, and a shitty one, at that. Just remember kids, you can sleep when you’re done with finals you’re dead.

It is unfortunately now time for me to return to my studies. Over and out, kids, and the best of luck to you during this wretched week from Hell.